Nice People

I really, really like nice people. One of our clients has had to deal with delays and mess-ups several times on his order. And every time I call him, and explain the problem, he is completely understanding and cool about it. I appreciate it more than I can even say. And you know what? Next time, I'm going to make sure we don't screw that account up.

Classy

One of my co-workers told me that I look classy and coordinated today, due to the fact that I managed to match a scarf in my hair with my shirt. I guess I managed the coordinated part, I've been working on that one. But I thought it was funny to be called classes, because I certainly don't consider myself that - cute, maybe - but not classy, it's just not really me. What I thought was even more funny was the fact that to accent my outfit I am wearing flip flops, not exactly classy shoes. Oh well, I was very flattered nonetheless.

Freckles

It amazes me how little sun can bring out such a numerous amount of freckles - and I'm not even a redhead! I just spent a little over an hour in the sun, and was rewarded with approximately 1,000 freckles (okay, that's just a guesstimate, I didn't actually count). Each year I think that they are gone, and I am destined to begin looking close to my age, but apparently not. Oh well. There are certainly worse things in life than freckles.

A Few Hours

Am really tired, it's been a very full day. I am just amazed at what a difference 12 hours can make. My perspective on a lot of things has changed dramatically since I woke up this morning. I guess it's a good thing not to make decisions too quickly. Not that making quick decisions has usually been my problem, but still.

Self-Aware?

I wonder about people who say they are self-aware, who extol how much work they have done on themselves, who claim they have worked through their issues. It seems they often are the least self-aware, maybe because they think they have done their work, that they have conquered their dragons. Or maybe they say that stuff because they want to hide their fear of what they have yet to do.

I also wonder if you can really ever get rid of an issue. I know you can work on an issue, and make it so that it doesn't bother you as much as it once did, but can these kind of issues, these deep-seated, really problematic, subconscious problems ever go away? Or can you just make them more manageable, so that you can function normally, and only be affected by them on occasion?

Gut Feelings

When your logic is saying one thing, and your gut is saying something else, how do you know which to follow? Or when your logic is having trouble figuring things out, because your gut is blurring it, how do you clarify your mind. How do you know whether your gut feelings are really your intuition or your issues speaking?

Yuck

A rash just spontaneously appeared on the crook of my arm. I'm not sure why it's there, but it kinda hurts. And I have nothing to put on it. :(

Executive Decision

I love how decisions are made. Apparently, I am third in command in my office. First, the owner of the company. Second, the general manager who has turned in his resignation (although no one knows but me). And then me.

So, people are asking me whether we leave early tomomorrow in anticipation of the holiday weekend. And what is my response? Okay! Let's leave early!

Seriously though, my decision was based on long drawn-out thought and careful consideration. (And the fact that our other office is leaving early.)

It's fun to be in charge (kind of).

Yom Yerushalayim

In celebration of Yom Yerushalayim, I highly suggest reading Ze'ev's post and listening to the audio link included (especially if you understand Hebrew). It's an inrcedibly powerful moment in Jewish history. I wish I could be there today to celebrate.

I also suggest, for those of you, like me, who can't be there, checking out the "Window on the Wall" from Aish.com. I received an e-mail saying that the best times to watch at 5 PM tonight and 10 AM tomorrow morning.

Another Reason I Dislike New York

My boss came in this morning, and since she now has lots of light in her office, and it's not too cold in there this morning, she had to pick something to complain about. So she decided to start ranting about the security of our office. About how she doesn't like our street, and how anyone can walk into our office at any time with a gun.

This of course triggered my co-workers to start telling stories of break-ins and hold-ups in New York. Which led to my boss saying that we now need a camera and surveillance system in order to secure our office.

I don't have such a mentality. I grew up in a place where we didn't lock the door to our house, where I left my car keys sitting in my car. Obviously I no longer do this, because I don't live in Alabama anymore. But I hate the mentality that you have to be suspicious of everything. I don't want that mentality. In this area, I really want to hold on to my naivete.

Relationships

I have a classmate this semester who has the same schedule as I do. We have almost 2-1/2 hours between work and class, so we decided to hang out together during this time, and we managed to arrange it so that we are doing a group presentation together, since we have the same free time to work on it.

We hung out yesterday and were talking about relationships and dating. She has been with the same guy for five years now (their fifth anniversary was last week). They are currently living together and starting to talk about buying a house together. However, she mentioned that her boyfriend gets very irritated whenever she mentions marriage. He's not ready and doesn't even want to discuss it. And she would really like to get married - she feels it the natural next step.

I don't understand this fear of marriage that she receives from him - they are committed and have been together for a long time now. But I suppose that he doesn't feel the need, since they are together now and she doesn't pressure him much due to his reactions.

I explained frum dating to her, and how goal-oriented it is. She was impressed. I feel a little sorry for her, because I don't feel like her relationship is where she would like it to be, but I don't think she knows what to do.

Multicultural Education

I really like the professor of my class, I had him last semester and he's a great teacher. What's really interesting about him is that his expertise is in multicultural sensitivity. He's very focused on presenting a wide variety of cultural aspects in every part of his teaching. So last night, when he mentioned Easter, he also mentioned Passover. When he said something about Christmas, he included Hanukah and Kwanzaa. And he's incredible about my not being in class for holidays and during Friday make-up days, due to Shabbos. It's a unique environment and I really appreciate such sensitivity at a Catholic university.

Things Do Change Sometimes

My dad called me this morning to tell me that he is going to be in NY in a couple weeks, and he wanted to schedule his trip so that he would have time to see me. It was quite a difference from the last time he was here, when he almost forgot to tell me he was coming.

It was difficult for me to express to him that it meant a lot to me that he make an effort to see me when he was in the vicinity, because I honestly didn't think it would make a difference. But it did, and I am glad.

Perspective Revisited

Being in New Square this Shabbos was certainly interesting. I gained a new perspective on the vast separation between the genders that exists there.

I used to get annoyed when a frum man refused to look at me, or speak to me, because I figured if I was dressed tnziusly and wasn't being directly flirtatious, what's the matter with looking at a woman? What was so bothersome that a man had to avoid even glancing in my direction, to the point where it felt like rudeness?

But I tried to gain new perspective on the matter. I thought about the whistles and comments I get when walking through the streets of New York, dressed completely tzniusly. And I realized that part of the package of frum men not looking at me, means that I don't get whistles and comments from them either. It gives me a measure of respect. I like that perspective. (Though I have to admit, that I still will probably have some issues with the complete separation, but that's my issue, I guess.)

It's raining, it's pouring

The old man is snoring.
Bumped his head and went to bed,
and didn't get up till the morning.

That's what this weather reminds me of. I think my mom used to sing the song with me, but now that I think of it, it doesn't make much sense. What does the rain have to do with snoring and head bumps? Must be an allusion to something there that I don't get.

Secrets

Our general manager called me into his office this morning and told me that he is quitting. He told me a few of the details about it, which aren't especially positive. And then he told me not to tell anyone yet, because it isn't public knowledge. This certainly isn't the first time I have been given such information about events going on in our office that I am not allowed to talk about.

I don't like being privy to these secrets, to watch things fall apart and be the one "in the know." But is it better to be surprised? I'm not sure.

This is my brain on no sleep

I haven't gotten enough sleep and my brain is rebelling against me. Every time I manage to think of something I need (or want) to do, by the time I actually get around to doing it, I forget what it is. (Did that make any sense?)

Shabbos - the day of rest - is coming. I am in sore need of it.

In Control

In my office, many of the people I work with are always very warm (they are either men or older women who have hot flashes on a regular basis). I have the tendency to be cold on a regular basis, even when everyone else is warm. I think it has something to do with being used to really hot temperatures in the South. Or maybe because when I lived with my dad he kept the air conditioning on so high that I was plunged into a permanent state of frostbite.

However, those around me made a crucial mistake. They gave me the remote control to the air conditioner. Which I think it perfectly fair considering the fact that it blows directly on me. If it wasn't for that factor, I would freeze. But because the remote sits on my desk, while no one in watching, I change the temperature to one that is livable, and allows my fingers to not turn blue.

It's good to be in control

Akeelah and the Bee

I went to see the movie Akeelah and the Bee last night. My friend and I were supposed to go see a different movie, but we couldn't find the theater so we ended up seeing Akeelah instead. It was really one of the sweetest movies I had seen in a long time. Yes, it was predictable. Yes, it was cutesy and not incredibly thought-provoking. But it moved me and my friend to tears and we both decided we were extremely glad that we had not been able to find the first theater It was the Cool Runnings of the spelling bee circuit, also reminding me of a TV movie from my childhood - The Girl Who Spelled Freedom. Anyway, I loved it, and was impressed by the fact that it was a wholesome, family-friendly film.

Stupid Questions

It's not true that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I just had someone call our company, asking about our old office by its address. For example, she said she had a question about a transaction at 123 East Main Street. I told her that the property had been sold. She asked me to whom it had been sold, and I told her.

She then asked me where they were located.

Uh....123 East Main Street now. Duh. Stupid question.

IM Therapy

I have been IMing with a friend of my little brother all morning. She's really cute and sweet. I feel like I have been doing therapy with her, it's kind of funny that I always feel I get into these kind of conversations, even when people don't know what I'm planning on doing for a living. I heard about research being done regarding therapy via IM and the Internet, I'm starting to think it's not such a bad idea. Maybe I should start charging for my IM conversations. Or not. Maybe I could just view it as good practice.

Only Simchas

A friend had a baby yesterday, and I was sad that I wasn't there. I was looking for an Only Simchas post so I could sign and feel a part of the simcha, and it struck me that it was weird to be looking for a birth rather than an engagement or wedding. I have lots of friends who have kids, but it seems that I'm still in the phase of life where friends are getting married more than having babies. I guess I'm growing up, even though I am fighting it every step of the way.

Fragrance

I wandered over to Macy's during lunch. Macy's on 34th Street has got to be the most overwhelming store on earth, especially to someone like me who prefers shopping online because of the crowds. But anyway, not the point. As I walked in, I was in the middle of the men's cologne section. I've never understood perfume and cologne, I think people smell better when they smell clean like soap and deodorant. (Okay, and I admit to using berry-scented soap, but nothing strong). So as I walked in, and the smells wafted over me, it actually hurt. My eyes stungs, my nose felt stuffy, I couldn't get out of that area quick enough. I don't understand how all that smelly stuff that hurts me costs so much.

On a completely unrelated note, this weather has rendered my hair extremely curly and quite big today. No attempting trying to control it in this humidity.

Gifts

My co-worker, who I really like because she has a very sweet, gentle way about her, just gave me a purple mouse pad. It made me a little happier on this dreary day.

Ramdom Morning Thoughts

I did a mitzvah this morning. A woman got on the bus but only had a large bill to pay for her bus fare. The driver didn't have change and no one else on the bus did either, apparently. So I gave her one of my bus tickets.

I am happy to be reunited with my Ipod. It was nice walking through the city this morning listening to some of my favorites.

My leg is turning all black and blue from my fall down my basement stairs. I like color, but not like this. Though I am happy to see that my knee seems to be unaffected (I was concerned that I had damaged it).

It's a dreary, rainy day. My mood is reflecting it.

Looking Busy

I think I've discovered the key to looking busy at work - just make sure your desk is a HUGE mess. Then it looks like you are working on a bunch of things at once. Also, typing while blogging or IMing makes it look like you are typing letters or spreadsheets or something. It seems to be working for me.

Grades are In...

And I made all A's!!! Yay!

Sometimes being single just really sucks. Like when all your friends are with their mothers for Mother's Day, and your mother is really far away. And when you fall down the stairs, and have no one to take care of you. It's been a day already and it's not even close to being over yet.

On Love

Disclaimer - This post is not about anything recent, so please don't read into it about what supposedly has been going on in life right now.

I seems to me that falling in love is like a wound that heals and opens over and over. Every time you let it open up, and it then has to heal again, the scar gets deeper, and stronger. And it's harder to let it open again. Now, I guess the different is, with a wound, you wouldn't really want it to open. But with love, you do.

The last time I fell in love, it was scary. When I realized it had happened, I wanted to run away. But I didn't. And then it didn't work out, for various reasons. And now, healed, the scar over my heart is stronger and deeper. And I feel like it would take more for me to fall in love again. Which in itself is scary. But not as scary as actually falling in love again.

How do you keep yourself from scarring? And how to you let yourself open that wound another time, over and over, when you don't have any guarantee that it won't have to close up another hundred times?

Love is hard.

A Child's View of Things

My co-worker just brought her 3-year old into the office for a few minutes to visit and so she could pick up some stuff. He's really cute, with lots of blonde hair and blue eyes. He was fascinated with everything in the office - the phone, the computer, the adding machine (which I won't go near, but he was having a lot of fun with). We all thought it interesting how fun he found the office, while we see it as a place that we do work, and is dull. Well, he at least made the office fun for a little while.

Rain, Rain Go Away

Oh wait, it already did. I had heard that it was supposed to rain for the next week. So when the skies actually cleared this morning and the sun peeked through, it made me really happy. I hope it lasts throughout the weekend. And then it can rain again.

Bored Again

My office is really quiet again today. It's kind of nice, because it's really laid back. I managed to catch up on most of my correspondence. I did my nails and was surprised that the only comment from people who saw me doing it was that I had chosen a nice color. I'm actually enjoying the quiet today, it's nice for it to be peaceful.

Good Deed for the Day

I helped find someone a job! A friend was looking for a job, and I forwarded him a posting I saw, which he subsequently interviewed for and was offered! He told me he was so happy he could kiss me (don't worry - it didn't happen). It's nice to help people.

YAY!

I'm done with my semester!!! And I got A's on both of my papers!

I'm starting to realize what an incredible program I had in undergrad, and what a good preparation I had for my graduate program. I definitely am appreciating it at the moment. And I am starting to see how everything works out the way it's supposed to. But more on that later.

Orthodox Judaism Growing

I found this article very interesting, on several levels. While reading, I try to keep in mind the fact that the organization doing the research certainly has an agenda, and I have no idea what methods they used to collect and analyze the data (yes, I have taken way too make research methods classes). But it was interesting to see that the number of Jews who identify themselves as Orthodox is growing so much. I was also struck by the note that over half of Jewsunder age 40 are unmarried. Anyway, check out the article.

Kiddush Hashem

One of our clients is a large Jewish organization. When my co-worker goes there every week, some of the employees at this organization teach him Hebrew phrases, which he then comes back and shares with me. Yesterday, they taught him "L' Hitraot." He then told me that they are one of the nicest clients that we have. It made me feel good to hear that. I am glad they are making such a kiddush Hashem.

Choose a Wise Self-Image

I'm a big Rabbi Pliskin fan, having met him while I was in Israel a number of years ago and seeing that he truly does live what he teaches. I get his "Daily Lift" from Aish.com.

Today's was excellent:

Self-image is how you view yourself. In reality it is easy to view yourself the way others view you. But ultimately it is you who selects which view you will accept. Some people access the view of negative individuals and make it their own. This is not a wise choice. Select the views of those who realize you are created in the Almighty’s image, you are a child of the Creator, and the world was created for you. Why settle for anything less? And make certain that the one individual whose opinion makes the most difference in your life views you in this way. That person is you.

I was just having a discussion the other day with a friend about how there are few confident women, and when you meet one, it can sometimes be intimidating, which I think is a real shame. Anyway, Rabbi Pliskin is certainly on the mark with this one.

Italy

My friend and I have decided that we are going to try to travel to Italy in August. Any suggestions for finding cheap ways to get there?

Duane Reade

I have to admit that the profileration of Duane Reade stores in New York first baffled me, but now I am completely enjoying it. From the minute I step into the city in the morning until the time I leave after school late at night, on almost any corner I can find all those little things that I always forget to stock up on - shampoo, make-up, nail polish, shoe laces, candy for when I have a chocolate craving, markers and greeting cards (amongst many others). What I have really become fond of is their "club card" type thing where they give you a $5 off coupon every time you spend $100. Okay, I know they probably make it up in high prices, but it feels good to go in and get a free pair of stockings, or whatever else I decide I need at the moment.

Drawing Attention

I'm having trouble figuring out what draws attention. I was walking down the street the other day and got whistled at. Now, I was dressed completely tznius, and I don't think it was even anything particularly cute, considering I dress in a denim skirt every day and usually sneakers to accompany my outfit (my office is super-casual, I love it). When comparing this to the many women who walk through New York barely clad, in huge heels, stockings and tight clothing, I can't possibly figure out what would cause some guy to randomly whistle at me. It just doesn't make sense. Anyone want to explain?

Bored, Bored, Bored

I'm bored at work today. No one in power is here, I have done the majority of the work I need to do, and I'm just twiddling my thumbs (well, I guess I'm not, since I'm typing this post). I don't deal with boredom well. I get fidgety, and then I go and distract other people from doing their work (I don't think most of them are working that hard at the moment either).

Oh well, not too much longer until it's time to go.

My Dad

My dad just mentioned in passing that he is going to be in Philadelphia this weekend, which is an hour and a half away from where I live. What he didn't know was that I had already planned a trip down to the Philly area for Sunday for a graduation party. It's so typical of my father to not even mention something like that to me. So, I think I might actually see my dad this weekend! Wow!

School Pride

Once again, my alma mater topped the charts in Newsweek's ranking of the top U.S. high schools. They slipped a bit this year, and came in at only number 2 (last year they were number 1), but I still say that ain't too bad. Take that, all you New Yorkers who act like Alabama is a foreign country!

Weekend Bliss

I spent the weekend relaxing in the sun, it was so nice. It makes me so happy that the weather is finally so pretty. It was actually weird to have a Sunday where I didn't have a huge homework assignment to work on. It makes me a little bored, but at the moment, I am still enjoying it. And knowing that it's not going to last very long :(