Sunshine

The sun is shining today and all of a sudden my mood is so much brighter. I remember this from last year - and am a firm believer in seasonal affective disorder after experiencing it. I hope the sun today signals the beginning of spring - yay!

Error Messages

Error messages seem to get more entertaining by the day. I attempted to send an e-mail to my boss, which our server apparently didn't like (maybe because of the massive amounts of attachments present). Anyway, here's the error message I got:


"Hi. This is the qmail-send program at [server address].
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out. I'm not going to try again; this message has been in the queue too long."

I feel like I've been rejected after a date. Or like I've been playing phone tag with someone who has just given up.

LOTD

Today's LOTD is a song that I've been listening to on the radio for a long time, and have finally manage to track down and figure out who actually sings it.


The Fray
How to Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life

Oh, and here's the video also - enjoy!

Friends

In difficult times, it often becomes apparent who your friends really are. And sometimes, friendships are forged in those times, due to the giving nature of those whose help you receive. I've been quite overwhelmed since beginning my semester and several people have really been there for me in different capacities. I wish I could write about them individually, but I can't. I just hope they know how much I appreciate their support during this time when I've been so stressed. From listening to encouraging to supporting to just understanding, it means a great deal. It's not easy for me to admit I can't do everything and to accept help from others, so it means even more.

Fried

My brain is fried. I'm on my third attempt to address an envelope, and it's not a confusing one. It's my own address that I managed to mess up. You would think that, after living in NJ a year and a half, I would remember. Well, I guess the day has only up to go!

Scary

I just drove home in the snow. It was really one of the scariest drives I've ever done. It was coming down, the streets were not clean. I don't know if I've ever driven so slowly down the highway before. I really hope the streets are clear by morning. Whew.

Old School

I went to a movie tonight in an old indie theater. I've never been in one like it. When I came in, there was a man at the front, playing an actual organ. He was playing all the old tunes, really having a good time. When the lights went down and he finished, everyone started clapping for him. There was one commercial before the movie - for the refreshment stand, featuring an old song and cartoon. After that, no previews, just the movie. It was so cute.

LOTD

Not sure why, but I have this song stuck in my head today - enjoy!

Burt Bacharach and the Posies
What the World Needs Now

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need another mountain,
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross,
Enough to last till the end of time.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some, oh, but just for
Every, every, everyone.

Grey's

I won't spoil last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy for those who haven't had the chance to watch it yet (that's usually me, begging people not to tell me what happened - and come on, can't my university be more sensitive when scheduling the class I need in order to avoid the one TV show I watch?) but I just have to say about last night's episode - Patrick Dempsey is hot. He can be my knight in shining whatever any day.

Something for Nothing

One of my tasks recently has been to go through every one of our accounts to see how much time we are spending on them versus how much they are being billed. I painstakingly went through every single line, making sure every customer was accounted for. In my company, we charge a set price per month for a set amount of service rendered. After going through the list, I found one account in which I couldn't find any service being recorded for.

In investigating further, it has been discovered that, for the past approximately seven years or so, this particular customer has been paying its bill every month. However, after about the first year, we haven't given them any service. No one has called about it, no one has seemed to notice, we have continued to receive payment every month.

Hmmmmm....

Semantics

I just read this article which discusses the new law that is in effect in New Jersey that gives gay couples all benefits of a married couple except for one - the privilege of calling their relationships a marriage. Despite the fact that one couple in the article marked their "civil union" with a ceremony presided over by a reverend, for reasons cited as religious, this couple cannot legally say that they are married.

It seems kinda silly to me. Granting all the rights and privileges of a married couple, but not calling it that? Honestly, what's the difference? Two people, committed enough to want to share a dwelling and health insurance, basically makes a marriage. No matter what name you give it, you're just playing with semantics. It is what it is.

American Idol

No, this is not a post about who I think is going to win. Almost every day now, the headlines are screaming about who is going to be the next American Idol, about the controversies surrounding the judges, about how to make sure that your vote counts. And you know what? I don't care. I suppose this is just the fad du jour, but I just don't get it, and unable to decipher whether it the media that's pumping the show up in order to make it big, or whether it actually is popular and people like it. And if they do, then why?

LOTD

My rarely-commenting (but regularly post-inspiring) friend (who refuses the offer to become a guest poster and prefers to pepper my inbox with links and lyrics) has provded me with another LOTD, again from the halcyon days of junior high:

Bette Midler
From a Distance


From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough,
and no one is in need.
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease,
no hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments
marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.
They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
Oh, God is watching us, God is watching.
God is watching us from a distance.

Blogosphere Perspective

Check out this post by Irina, which offers an interesting perspective and message to the blogosphere.

LOTD

My rarely-commenting friend has been peppering my inbox with material these days, and this morning I received my LOTD. Here's what I wrote back when he asked me whether I know the song:

"Do I know it? Only every single word and strain of music to it - can sing it without hearing it. You have no idea what a nostalgia song this one is for me. Brings back junior high dances, which were always SO much fun except for that episode where the guy you liked didn't ask you to dance to this song and you had to go to the bathroom to cry."

Without further glimpses back to those angst-ridden junior high days (does this explain why that's the age group I want to work with?), the LOTD is:

Extreme
More Than Words

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Excellent Post

From Emes Ve'Emunah, which is quickly becoming a regular read of mine, Harry Maryles delivers an excellent post on chumras becoming halacha and the problem with extremism being considered normal. Check it out.

Internet Anonymity

My rarely commenting friend sent me another fascinating article, this time about how the elusive anonymity of the Internet that we cloak ourselves in leads us to be more open, in many ways, than we would be face-to-face. This article explains how this behavior can be traced to the difference in brain functioning (which I would desperately love to study in more depth, maybe one day) between a face-to-face encounter and an online, faceless one. Check out the article.

LOTD

Today's LOTD is Collective Soul, The World I Know:

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I dont know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that Ive been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
cause its the world I know.
Its the world I know.

Teacher's Pet

I didn't even realize you could be a teacher's pet in graduate school, but apparently I have managed to do it. One of my professors has always seemed to think that I work a lot harder than I actually do, and tonight when speaking with a classmate who I'm working on a project with, she said she was really happy she was working with me, because everything I did for the professor seemed to be golden. When everyone else couldn't figure out what he wanted, I was able to. It's kinda embarrassing, but she just encouraged me to use it, especially to her advantage. I thought you grow out of that kind of stuff. Apparently not.

Hiding

A bunch of large plants were just brought into my office and placed in front of my desk. Now I'm hidden behind them. It's kinda nice, actually. I (almost) feel like I'm in a jungle. Without all the bugs.

Linguistics

I find it very interesting that in my office, a chest of drawers is pronounced (and very unfortunately, spelled) "draws" while a drawing is pronounced "drawering." Seems like it should be opposite. I'm not sure I'll ever fail to be amused by the way New Yorkers talk. (Yeah, yeah, I know they think I talk funny. Whatever.)

Necessities

It's kind of pathetic for me to realize what propels me to the grocery store. Fruits and veggies - I can live without for a few days (though those are staples). My cereal for breakfast - I can make do, or have oatmeal, which is really better anyway. Lunch-type food - I'll just eat out. Dinner - same. Coffee - Coffee???? I CAN'T run out of coffee. I won't survive. Coffee creamer - must make a trip to the grocery store on my way home after a 15-hour day. It won't be the same in the morning without it. Yep, coffee gets me to the grocery store. All else can wait.

Marbles

My rarely-commenting friend (I'm thinking he should become a guest poster one of these days) sent me this way cool video - check it out!

Freedom

When I left my apartment this morning, I forgot my cell phone at home. From the time I left the house until I got home, almost 15 hours later, I was without what I usually consider my lifeline to just about everyone I know. And I didn't really miss it. It was kinda nice.

LOTD

Am enjoying Candlebox these days, so here's one from them:

Far Behind

Now maybe I didnt mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
And not maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside they watch you crumble
As you falter to the ground
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying
Oh you were flying oh so high
But then some day people look at you for what they call their own
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hear you calling home
But then some day we could take our time
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
But you left me far behind
Now maybe I didnt mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say youre left with what you had
But you couldnt share the pain
No, no, no
Couldnt share the pain they watch you suffer
Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes
But I live with what Ive known
Yes maybe we might share in something great
But wont you look at where weve grown
Wont you look at where weve gone
But then someday comes tomorrow holds a sense of what I fear for you in my mind
As you trip the final line
And that cold day when you lost control
Shame you left my life
So soon you should have told me
But you left me far behind
Now maybe I didnt meant to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say youre left with what you had
But you couldnt share the pain
No, no, no
Now maybe I didnt mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
No maybe some would say youre left with what you had
But you couldnt share the pain
I said times have changed your friends
They come and watch you crumble to the ground
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hold you down
Hold you down
Maybe brother maybe love I didnt mean to treat you bad
But you left me far behind
Left me far behind
Left me far behind

Over-Stressing

Things are often much less scary than you think they will be. Because you think they are going to be so scary, though, you put it off and put it off, building up the scariness and the pressure. And then, after stressing and fretting, when you finally do it, it's not so scary after all. I need to learn to face the fear and just get things over with, rather than being so scared.

Misery Loves Company

I had a conversation with an acquaintance yesterday who has been going through some of the same stresses that I have. It was fascinating to hear her words, because I completely could relate. I felt bad that I felt good about another person going through the same hard time that I am. Because I don't want someone else to be dealing with difficult issues, but at the same time, it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Infectious

I've become an infectious force in my office. Not only is everyone extremely kind in humoring me with my glitter obsession, it's becoming a trend to wear glitter nail polish amongst my (female) co-workers as well. My co-worker, who has the longest nails ever (ok, maybe not ever, but they're really long) and gets all kinds of designs and decorations painted on them, asked me for my glitter so she can embelish her already-intricately designed nails. I'm glad it's catching on.

LOTD

Today's LOTD is one of my old, old time favorites.

Sheryl Crow
Strong Enough

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing’s true and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It’s try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

Ok Go

Courtesy of my co-worker, I bring you this very cool video by the band "Ok Go" - enjoy!

Chicks Can Play Too

Hat tip goes to my mom, with some help from my brother on this one - this chick can play!

Happy Tu B'Shevat from Alabama

Hat tip to SaraK on this one -

Watch the (very cute) Jewish kids from Central Alabama wishing you a Happy Tu B'Shevat!

This morning, when I was walking out to my car, I noticed that the two little boys who live downstairs from me were wide awake and peeking out the window. They are so cute. They saw me and started banging on the window, so I waved to them as I walked past and they waved back. I have a feeling their parents were fast asleep in bed and had no idea they were having so much fun.

Honorifics

My professors at school often ask us to call them by their first names. I have a very hard time doing this, mainly because I know how much hard work they have put in to deserve their title of "Dr." and because we are definitely not peers - they are in a power position to, they have worked hard to get there and I feel like they deserve my respect. So, to the often consternation of my professors, I usually persist in calling them "Dr. So-and-So" until I clearly am asked not to (which has happened).

The funny part is, I plan on completing a PhD at some point, and I would hate to have people calling me "Dr. Blah-Blah." I would probably insist that people call me by my first name as well, I just can't imagine going around, using my title to announce my educational achievements. So why do I have such a hard time with others who feel that way?

Interests

For my career counseling class, I have to fill out the "Strong Interest Inventory" amongst other common tests that help a person figure out what careers they would be interested in and good at. As I'm filling out the 291 item test, marking those things that I would like and dislike doing, I'm struck by how much I enjoy the arts - writing, painting, interior decorating. (I also like sports reporting - maybe next time for that one.) I guess the fact that I want to work art therapy into school counseling is pretty spot-on. Cool.

5 Degrees

Yep. That's it. Just a measly little 5 degrees outside this morning. I think those 5 must be missing the rest of their counterparts - I know I am. It would be great to add a 3 or a 4 in front of those 5, but for some insane reason, it doesn't seem to be happening. My fingers, nose, legs and face were completely frozen, despite being covered up on my short walk to my office this morning. Brrrrr. Still like the cold, LT?

Wow

This video brings tears to my eyes. Maybe one day...

Importance of Money

I've been having conversations with people recently about the fact that there are those people who work incredibly long hours, especially in NY. The trade-off, apparently, is financial compensation. Which is nice, I'm sure, but doesn't seem to be (at least not to me) an adequate substitute for having a life and relationships and the freedom to do what you want when you want. I know that to some people, money is more important than it is to me - I don't care that much whether I'm wearing designer fashions or have a fancy car - some people really do like that stuff. But I just can't imagine trading my life away for being able to buy that stuff. Am I the weird one?

All About Love

Beautiful post by XGH about life and what it's all about - no matter what religion you affiliate with.

Kids At Risk - More Acceptance Necessary

Courtesy of Harry Maryles, this article by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, who I respect more and more with every article of his I read, is excellent and spot on. Check it out.

LOTD

It's been a while, but the Lyrics of the Day are back! This one is from Nickelback:

"Photograph"

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me...

Financial Aid

I don't understand why on earth every university I have ever attended has managed to employ the most difficult people ever in their Financial Aid offices. These people are very rarely helpful, and usually don't know what they are talking about anyway. The completely ignore whatever question you might be asking, in order to give you the information (over and over) that you didn't need.

I just called to see whether my financial aid check had been mailed out. The response I got from the woman on the phone was that I should receive it by next Wednesday. Ok, I understand that. But what I really would like to know is whether it has actually been placed in the mailbox yet, so I can look out for it and make sure it doesn't get lost. She responds that I should receive it sometime next week. We continue:

Me: But has it been put in the mail yet?
Financial Aid Chick (FAC): You should get it next week.
Me: I want to make sure it's not lost - can you tell me the date that it was mailed?
FAC: You should get it next week.
Me: I understand that, but is there any way you can tell me if it has actually been put in the mail to go out yet?
FAC: You can check the balance online.
Me: Has it been mailed?
FAC: You should get it next week. Ok?
Me: Yes, thank you for your help. I give up.

Hopefully, I'll get the check next week. Oy.

Update - The sage continues.

I check my school e-mail, something that I manage about once a month, mainly because it's rare that any of the e-mails actually pertain to me, and see that there is message about renewing scholarships. It states that the deadline for scholarship renewal applications has been extended to February 2. That's good news, because I completely forgot about my application and haven't yet filled it out. The bad news is that you are required to submit your FAFSA (Financial Aid form) along with the application. This is bad because in order to do your FAFSA, you must have already done your taxes, which I have not gotten close to doing. So I call the admissions office.

Me: I got an e-mail about scholarship applications and FAFSA. I haven't done my taxes yet, is it ok if I don't have my FAFSA?
Admissions Chick (AC): I don't know, who was the e-mail from?
Me: There was no name on the e-mail.
AC: Let me ask someone else. Hang on. (Comes back.) We don't need your taxes, just the FAFSA.
Me: I understand that, but in order to fill out the FAFSA, I have to do my taxes first, which I haven't done.
AC: (Asking the person in the background.) You can fill out the FAFSA online.
Me: Ok, but I can't because I haven't done my tax return.
AC: We don't need your tax return.
Me: I understand that, but I can't do my FAFSA until I do my tax return.
AC: We need your FAFSA.
Me: Can I speak to whoever you are asking these questions to? Maybe that would be more direct.
AC: Um, you should talk to the director. Here's his number. Click.

And the funny part is, I don't think it's going to be a problem. I'm pretty sure I went through this last year and still got my scholarship.

Furry Friends

Someone sent me this video, which really cheered me up - check it out, it's really funny. (Click on the video icon on the right to view it.)