What's in a Name?

My new roommate and I share something - our first name. It it a little confusing sometimes. While walking through the streets on Manhattan this morning (it is so weird that I do that), I was thinking that I should come up with an alternate name for myself so we could differentiate between the two of us and make things a little easier.

What a great opportunity - I could pick any name that I want! It could be crazy or cool. It could be out there, or a made-up name, or simply my middle or last name.

But then I thought about being called by a name other than Shoshana, which I have been all my life. I never had an English name, my parents never thought about giving me one, I don't think. I didn't even realize growing up that people had both English and Hebrew names.

Growing up, I always thought my name was weird and different. I didn't like it much. I dreamed of changing it something else - and the names I came up with during those years! Everything from Linda to Rainbow, I couldn't wait to become 18 and have a new name that I got to choose.

And then 18 came around, and changing my name wasn't such a priority. I had other things going on and I had kind of forgotten how much I wanted to change it. I still got annoying comments on my name, and always felt way too pale for what everyone considered a "black-girl's name," but I just never found the motivation to make the change.

And then I became religious, and my name fit. I came to love it, and grow into it. And make it really a part of me.

And this morning, the thought of being called something else really bothered me. I don't want to change my name. I would rather deal with the confusion of two Shoshana's in one apartment. I am Shoshana now.