I was on the bus the other day, and there was a frum girl sitting across the aisle from me. She was talking on her cell phone, and it was very difficult to not overhear the conversation. She was dressed in long black skirt, black shoes, dark tights. Long-sleeved buttoned-down blouse. Her conversation was about the typical stuff - shabbos, Lakewood, friends. I categorized her in my head as the "typical Bais Yaakov-type," which wasn't really fair, I know.
But I realized that I resented the fact that I felt she was the "typical" type, because I knew that she probably fit in pretty easily. And while I don't aspire to be typical, or really fit in, I do acknowledge that in a lot of ways it is an easier existence, and I am jealous of it.
posted by Shoshana @ 9:44 AM
5 Comments:
Today, being "frum" is so different from most of Jewry, that it automatically makes all "frum" people more similar than different. I wonder if three or four hundred years ago when basically everyone was "frum", one's character and attributes stood out much more distinctly since it wasn't masked by this generalization.
I think it is sometimes hard for character to stick out, regardless of whether one is frum or not, just by the fact that it is an internal attribute and takes some digging in order to see. Though there does seem to be a few sparkling people out there who absolutely radiate their ahavas yisrael to the world, and it is beautiful to encounter. I am lucky to have met a few such incredible individuals.
Maybe off topic, but I find that the people with most "character" in the frum community tend to be BTs, which I guess at this point in time are still atypical.
Example: there was a rabbi here who is a BT, spent 10 years in yeshiva in Israel, most straightlaced guy I know, double recessive gene for sense of humor. One day we walk past a driveway with a red Camaro parked on it. In typical e-Kvetcher stream of consciousness mode I mutter "Bitchin' Camaro" at which point the rabbi turns to me and says "The Dead Milkmen! - I went to every one of their shows in college." Then walks away as if this never transpired.
That is cool! I think that BT's have had more opportunity to have character because they haven't been sheltered and have managed to meet a diverse group of people throughout their lives (at least some of them). I have to give credit to some FFB's who I know, however, who have made it their mission to expand upon their experience and break out from the mold.
It's like the couple that made Ushpizin. You think any FFB's would have done that in a zillion years?
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