New York Moment

My friend and I went to the cell phone store today. My friend's phone has been giving her error messages and I wanted to see if they could boost the reception on my phone.

We walk up to the counter and start talking to the sales guy.

My friend - My phone is giving me error messages, can you help me fix it.
Sales guy - You can try rebooting it. That might help.
My friend - Is there some kind of software you can download onto it.
Sales Guy - You can buy a package to upgrade it.
My friend - No thanks.

Me - Can you do something to boost my reception?
Sales guy - No.
Me - Isn't there some code you can punch in to make it better?
Sales guy - No. But you can buy a memory card. Or a carrying case.
Me - No thanks.

My friend - Can you unlock my phone for international use?
Sales guy - We don't do that here.
My friend - Are you sure?
Sales guy - Yes, you have to go to a 3rd party place.
My friend - Oh.

Me - Is there a way to email myself pictures I take with my phone?
Sales guy - Yes, if you buy a package.
Me - No way to just do it like with a text message.
Sales guy - Only if you buy a package.

My friend - Is there a way to get Internet without email on my phone?
Sales guy - No, but you can buy a package with both.
My friend - You don't have just Internet?
Sales guy - No, you have to buy both.

Sales guy - Are you guys from New York? Everything here is about spending money.
Me - Can you throw away my cup of coffee for me?
Sales guy - $5.

Me and my friend - BYE!