A place for my unformed thoughts. Help me sort them out!
Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much about others - could be more selfish. It seems easy for a lot of people to do. It would make a lot of things easier. But it doesn't seem to be in the cards for me - I just care too much.
posted by Shoshana @ 9:05 AM
I am an Orthodox Jewish baalas teshuvah who is constantly striving to grow and learn about the world and myself. Feel free to drop me a line with your thoughts on my blog, life, love or anything else!
6 Comments:
Thats what makes you so special... Don't ever stop caring, Shoshana.. The world is a much, much better place because you do.
Caring is a good character trait when the caring is really based on looking out for the other person.
I know a few people who "care" other people to death and then feel stepped on and rejected when their caring attempts are rejected by the other.
In cases like that, it is often important to look to see whether you are caring for the purpose of benefitting the other person, or whether you are caring for the pleasure you get from feeling like a good person.
One way it is outwardly directed for the other's benefit, and the other way it is selfishly directed.
I hope this comment wasn't offensive. I believe you had the best intentions with whomever you were caring about. It's just sometime to always be aware of when you feel like you're caring too much.
B'H, Shoshana.
sg -
Thank you. I don't think I could ever stop caring, though sometimes it's just not that easy.
Zoe -
I didn't take offense to your comment, I hear what you are saying. I've often wondered something similar about those who visit people in the hospital - whether the patient wants visitors or not. It's important to take into consideration the needs of the person you care about, rather than your own. I hope that I do so.
Ezzie -
:)
I know just what you mean. I believe I am far too loyal -- often to a fault; often to my own detriment. The same thing with fairness. Sometimes you have to look out for number one in order to get ahead and I often can't do that.
This is why my dream is to truly walk on the shvil hazahav -- to be truly balanced. To know that extremes in any midda is a bad thing, not a good one. That being caring and loyal and fair to *yourself* is important too.
I hear ya. There is nothing wrong with caring when it is genuinely for the other person. A compassionate person would also sense that they don't want to be cared for and so they would respect their wishes.
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